and I will take "what is TMS?" for one thousand.....

hey there, tee kaa here.


do you TMS? Do you know someone who might need to learn about TMS??





I am not an expert.  like everything throughout this blog and all "tee kaa talks" my take on TMS is my experience alone and does not represent any other expertise on the subject.

First for 1000 points: What is TMS? - Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) is a noninvasive procedure that uses magnetic fields to stimulate nerve cells in the brain to improve symptoms of depression. TMS is typically used when other depression treatments haven't been effective.


I was giving the diagnosis of "severe depression" and then "chronic depression." in high school.  The diagnosis did not make since to me at the time - I was not sad beyond bearable, and I did not look anything like that blue blob I saw moping along the TV screen during the anti-depressant commercial. However, it also made a lot of since then - I was in a constant suicidal state, self-harming, not sleeping, starving, drinking and barely appearing functioning, so the depression did come with the package I had opened.


I tried the meds, and the meds, and the meds, and the meds...


I filled out the patient health questionnaire-9 (phq-9), also known as the nine question depression survey, and only ever scored in the mid 20's (25-27) with 27 being the highest score.  I remember being baffled the one time I scored a 22 and thought that was 'pretty cool' and 'the best it'll ever get.'" that would be my best score for over a decade.


I started TMS in July 2018 with a score of 26. I went down to a 24 in two weeks, then 20 after one more week, 16 a few weeks later, then 13, 8, 6 and then a 4 after 12 weeks of treatment. At the end of the 16 weeks my score was a 1! A freaking 1! I sat in my Dr.'s waiting room looking at the survey I completed with the score of one in complete disbelief. If you asked me, ever, about sleeping, eating, motivation, energy levels and suicidal ideation I would tell you that there's no way out of it, and the best management of these symptoms is to accept that they are apart of you and will always linger within you. I sat there, in the waiting room starring at this survey with tears in my eyes. Y'all there truly is always a solution!





follow ups since completing my TMS treatment, the highest I scored is a 4.


As of late, my score is a bit higher than my new usual (between 4 and 9). This is due to some very hard trauma experiences this past summer. And, although TMS treatment is often, very often only needed once in a lifetime, it's know to be revisited for a "tune up" with some cases. I am looking into this. Not because my score is rapidly increasing by any way: the fast that my meaningful life is best lived at a 2-4, makes me want it back. You know the whole "once you know better, do better, be better" quotes.


Please remember that this share is my experience only with TMS. I am not speaking for the community of TMS recipients and I am in no way an experts on TMS. I am only an expert on myself and my experiences.


Ask the questions though, and I will share more!


Ohhhhhh...... also, I will leave with this: it feels and sounds like a woodpecker is tapping your head - super annoying or super funny depending on how you look at it! i also found watch TV helped. I tried to read my kindle a few times and failed each time due to being distracted by the timing of the "pecking."




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